As a world-class golfer, Trump can easily navigate the political bunkers and water hazards while scoring major policy holes-in-one from the Oval Office sand trap.

His hairpiece technology is years ahead of its time, ensuring he'll never have a bad hair day or make a radioactive gaffe when the nuclear winds blow.

As the brilliant creator of the word "covfefe", Trump can uncovfefe America's ability to dominate in the bigly field of ambiguous vernacular.

His preternatural talent for misspelling words like "unpresidented" and "hamberders" will let him rewrite the dictionary and keep the nation's kids from becoming total losers.

With his objectivity in grading himself a 10 out of 10 as president, Trump will surely be a stable genius at honest self-assessment.

An expert in estimating crowd hydration levels, Trump can keep inauguration crowds properly hydrated and flowing like finely tuned Russian hooker urine.

Boasting a tremendously huge "a-brain", Trump can easily outsmartsize the nuclear arthritis and think big to outflank Xi's very powerful airplane thoughts.

A true multi-bizmogul master bankruptor, Trump can smartly bankrupt America many times over, creating a tremendously huge opportunity for his ultrasuccessful rebuilders.